fries! because i haven't fried enough stuff yet...

yep. after the deepfrystravaganza the other day, and an incredibly long week.. i felt like attempting french fries. because why buy them, when you can spend way too long making them?

because they're delicious, that's why.

and easy... ish? okay. a little messy, but worth it.

you'll need (per good-size serving):

one fist-size white skinned potato

a good amount of canola oil (1/4 cup or so)

salt

pepper

OR

leftover bbq rub from the wings. just saying.

first, slice your potato into french fries. yeah yeah, i know, my world was rocked when i read this too. you can do this by slicing length-wise, so you have long sheets of potato, then slicing thinly. thin means crispy, and crispy means tasty. no giant steakfries here.

then, put in a pot of cold, salted water and bring to a boil for a while. this gets rid of excess starch and cooks them through, leaving you to just crisp the suckers up. strain, and leave them to steam off excess moisture.

then, fry the suckers. while they're drying, heat up your oil on medium-high heat, and add in a single layer at a time. try not to overcrowd the pan. i did batches, like so:

fry until crispy, then toss on a paper-towel lined plate, season immediately, then in a 250 degree oven to stay warm.

eventually, you'll have lots of delicious fries!

what to do with these? well, i made breakfast-for-dinner, and ate it like so:

the red stuff on the eggs is sriracha. the orangey-yellow stuff (damn iphone camera) is sriracha mayo for the fries. don't judge me, i was once like you - not eating sriracha mayo. it sucked.

enjoy!

fire up the deep fryer, it's super bowl time again.

Now, those of you that know me know that I don't really follow football too much, but love to do a superbowl party every year. This year, some friends graciously hosted, so I did what I did last year (regrettably unblogged) and deep fried the hell out of some good eats for dinner. Even if your man-crush (or just crush-crush) Tom Brady didn't make it happen this year, you can drown your sorrows in some good food and company.

first up though, WINGS.

I'm pretty particular about my wings, so I just learned to make them and called it a day at that. These got some rave reviews this year (thanks team!) and were actually a snap to put together.

You'll need:

As many wings as you want to make - I did a good solid six pounds here.

Montreal steak spice (trust me) or your choice of a spice mix.

A cup of flour

A cup of corn starch

Two eggs, and a bit of milk.

Franks Red-hot

Butter

Lots of oil (sorry dieters. it's the superbowl)

A big cast iron skillet or something similarly heavy duty

and for your safety, some kind of fire extinguishing apparatus juuuuust in case.

The night before, mix your wings with a generous amount of the spice rub. Leave these in the fridge overnight.

When ready, fill your pot/pan about two or three inches high of oil. I used canola here, peanut is good too. Heat on medium high. You can check this by tossing a bread cube in and seeing how it reacts - if it bubbles up nicely and evenly, it's good. if it goes crazy, it might be a bit high. You're looking for about 425 degrees, if you have a thermometer.

Mix the flour, cornstarch, and some more spiceage. Toss your wings in this until they're all dusted and dry-feeling (they'll be white from the flour, aim for complete coverage).

Whisk the eggs and a splash of milk together, and toss the floured wings in this.

THEN do the flour step again (you might have to make more of this). This is key. Gives you ridiculously crunchy, tasty wings.

Here's the intimidating part.

gently, place the wings in the hot oil. If you have a spider or similar device it's much easier. Just don't drop in, lots of splashing and potential oil-on-hot-element may ensue.

See the joy up there? Do that for four minutes a side, then put on a paper-towel lined plate in the oven at 200 for as long as you want. They won't dry out unless you leave them forever.

I swear before I took this picture, the pile was three times bigger than that. While in the oven, melt equal amounts of butter and franks together to make buffalo wing sauce (the secret is out!). Toss the wings in it or set aside for dipping, whatever you prefer. Serve with blue cheese dressing if you want, or just mow on its own.

Veggos - I'm currently figuring out some reasonable substitute for this. I have a vegetarian friend that has some ideas, I think. Will stay on it.

BONUS extra...

A friend was making pizza too, so we had a lot of mozzarella left.

Well...

First, make a quick beer batter. A cup of flour, an egg, and a bottle of beer should do it. Add flour as needed for consistency (a thin batter, but not liquid totally). Spice if you want (oregano, chili flakes, salt, pepper)

Make mozzarella-stick shapes out of grated cheese, like so:

...and dip in. Drop these in, and act fast (or it will end poorly). Drain on paper towel and serve with marinara. Yep, you just made mozzarella sticks. And yes, it was that easy.

See? First try. Don't think too much about the oil on the paper.

BONUS BONUS extra:

Slice some bananas and toss in the batter. Deep fry THOSE and serve with maple/pancake syrup. Uh, yeah. More of those.

BONUS BONUS BONUS two-part extra (this is exhausting)

First, I saw a shout-out to my favorite redneck beer in a hipster Toronto paper:

Which I feel somehow legitimizes my love for that and Molson Ex.

Second part: there's a German word, kummerspeck, which relates to the weight you gain from over-eating when you're sad. It translates to "sad bacon". If you're a Patriots fan, hopefully this blog post will help you out there.

Enjoy!

oh no-reos, it's homemade oreos

okay, that was pretty shameful. whatever, puns are fun.

what else is fun? oreos. fun and damn delicious. made at home, they are freaking huge! satisfying my childlike craving for an oreo the size of a cd.

best part? they're damn easy to make, and make lots of - perfect for guests, or co-op jobs where the tradition is (apparently) that the students bring in baked goods every friday.

here goes..

for the cookies, you'll need:

1 1/4 cup flour

1/2 cup cocoa

1 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt (i used kosher here, got a neat little salty/sweet mix going on)

1 cup sugar

one egg

1/2 cup + 2 tbsp buttah

blend the dry, then the butter and egg. make this into tablespoon-size balls, and chill. then mash those suckers down till they're flat and oreo-cookie like. bake at 375 for five minutes on both sides on some parchment paper. cool it down, and make the good stuff.

the good stuff:

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup shortening

2 cups (yes, that's correct) icing sugar

2 tsp vanilla extract

blend the butter and shortening together, then the sugar and vanilla. find someway to introduce between two cookie halves, push down and EAT.

(if you're looking for a methodical way to do it, put it in a ziploc bag and snip off a corner. presto, instant piping bag!)

enjoy! and thanks to the star for the recipe - big hit at christmas.

I think it's time..

Well,

I've been coasting on this blog for too long. Time to get my shit together and bring it back!

Without further ado, I present:

"the engagement risotto" (because I've been propositioned a couple times after making it)

You'll need:

1 cup arborio rice

4 cups any kind of stock (I prefer chicken with this)

1 large red union

A slice of good bread

A jalepeno

Half a cup old cheddar, or some other stinky nonsense

To start, finely slice and caramelize that onion. Get a deep brown on it, which will take forever and smell wonderful.

Then, add your rice. Toast it, somewhat.

Slowly add stock to it, waiting until it absorbs the liquid between passes.

Meanwhile, MULTITASKING

Toast then chop your bread up. Fry it up with a chopped jalepeno. Wusses, don't take the seeds out. They complete the fun. Get it all crispy.

When your stock is all used up, add the cheese. You now have risotto, or some reasonable facsimile. Then toss in the breadcrumbs nonsense (pangratatto, it's called).

Eat, and be prepared to fight off your friends and family for seconds.